President Pwnd by Pesky Pirates

Since the founding of the Republic, the United States has been fighting pirates. The U.S. Navy was founded in 1794, just a few short years from the successful conclusion of the American revolution. As such, the U.S. was suffering from an enormous debt load and didn't have a fighting navy to speak of.

From 1784 until 1804, the U.S. Congress paid the Barbary pirates to not attack ships and take hostages. While not an abysmal failure, the tribute only encouraged the Pasha (Basha) of Tripoli to demand more money. In 1804, under the leadership of President Thomas Jefferson, the U.S. refused to pay tribute any longer and began a military campaign on both land and sea. The campaign was successful and attacks against U.S. ships stopped.

Fast forward to 08 April 2009. The Maersk-Alabama was hijacked by Somali pirates. Ultimately the mostly-American crew repelled the boarders, however, the Captain, Richard Phillips was taken hostage. In what could have been a foreign policy coup for President Teleprompter, turned into a failure. Emergency Radios

While President Teleprompter could have ordered the near immediate retaking of Captain Phillips, he didn't. He dithered until he had signed two different orders to allow the U.S. Navy to protect and defend her citizens. President Teleprompter also failed to retaliate in a manner to further dissuade the pirates from ever attacking U.S. citizens. He could have ordered the USS Bainbridge to attack the land positions of the pirates. He could have ordered an immediate blockade of the port of Mogadishu. He could have ordered the immediate boarding of all non-commercial vessels and seizure of all weapons. He didn't. He is bringing the lone pirate back for trial.

Why is this a failure? Because of instead of taking immediate and forceful action, he sat back and watched. Instead of ordering the military to act without haste, the situation was prolonged at the risk of the life of Captain Phillips. Instead of clearly demonstrating overwhelming force and determination, President Teleprompter has now encouraged the pirates to act more vigorously against U.S. interests. Protect your Medical Identity with TrustedID. $1,000,000 Warranty & Great Customer Service


Joe Biden in his stopped clock moment, said that President Teleprompter would be tested within 6 months of his inauguration. He has, first by North Korea, which fired its missile brazenly and now by the Somali pirates. In each case, his lack of forceful action has shown him the neophyte, instead of the leader of the most powerful nation in the world. It should come as no surprise that he spent his week in Europe apologizing for America's greatness, and bowing to King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. President Teleprompter, you got pwnd.

Allow me to express gratitude and praise to the men and women of our Armed Forces, most especially the United States Navy SEALS. You have proven again your courage and warrior spirit. May you continue to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies and be strengthened by the appreciation of the nation. As a former military officer, I salute you!